Heartbreak in parenting is simply unavoidable. I'm not sure if I was trying to avoid it or what, but the revelation that it is inevitable and unavoidable has left me with a question? What do I do when the heartbreak comes? The answer has always been there... just waiting to be discovered.
Yesterday, I found myself once again heartbroken. The pain of being in that place once again was almost worse than being there at all. I found myself thinking, "I can't do this. It's just too much!" I was fearful, angry, and very disappointed. At first, I wanted to declare my feelings openly and loudly. Fortunately, I found restraint and cried instead. I cried for a while and then attempted to get it off my mind. I just didn't know what to do with it. I know the truth that my kids are going to mess up. I know they are going make short sighted choices with no awareness of the long term consequences. I know I need to let them experience those poor choices as well as the consequences. I know that part of being a powerful person is learning the how to manage choices and taking responsibility for them. I know that when they do get it right, I get to rejoice with them! My heart is full and beaming with joy to see my kids make choices that line up with who they are and their purpose. However, when they do mess up there is a certain kind of heartbreak that comes with it. It's a heartbreak unlike any other that I've ever experienced.
Part of me wishes that I could somehow intercede to avoid this pain. It is this part of me that would try to control or manipulate the choices of my kids so that I didn't have to experience such heartbreak. That might work well for me, but not for my kids. I have seen where that path ultimately leads and it's not pretty. So here I am left with the revelation that heartbreak is unavoidable as well as inevitable. What will my response be? Quite frankly, out of sight-out of mind doesn't really work.
Journaling with Papa, I asked this very question, " what do I do with the heartbreak?".
He simply replied, "give it to me".
I can take my fear, anger, disappointment, and helplessness to Papa God.
In return, He exchanges it for LOVE.
He exchanges it for GRACE. Grace that forgives.
He exchanges it for TRUTH. Truth that says, "This is not who you are. You are _________!
He exchanges it for HOPE!
This brings honor to Him and to the family. It heals my heart and allows me to parent with a renewed perspective. So yes, heartbreak is unavoidable, but HEALING is possible! Thank you, Jesus!