New School Year Challenges

If you love someone, set them free.

The new school year brings on a challenge for me as a mom to be in a supportive role vs. a lead role. I may try to use my position as mom to control and manipulate my child's performance and choices to be what I want. In a supportive role, I will allow my child freedom to be themself, freedom to make their own choices without judgement, and provide encouraging counsel. My children need to know that I love them for who they are and that I have no desire to change, control, or manipulate them. It is my job to point them to Holy Spirit, who will reveal the Father's heart and truth about who they are and their purpose. Ultimately, it is their choice whether they will come into agreement with it or ignore it. Its an awfully scary thing to do. Frankly, though, thats my problem and not theirs.

I need to take my fear to the Father. In His presence fear cannot exist, only love. In His presence, I am reminded of His love for me and my children. I am reminded that I can trust Him, which in turn leads to faith. My faith will give me eyes to see what He sees and therefore engage in the process. Parenting is a process! For me and them!

When I give my children room to make their own choices, I am empowering them. I say "give them room" because I do have to set some boundaries. I believe its important for them to learn and value their freedom and ability to choose. I saw a post on FB about song lyrics. The post basically said that in a country that has freedom of speech, how do you deal with artists who make music with offensive song lyrics. I believe this post reveals a struggle that we have as a people. Freedom of speech is a God-given right, offensive song lyrics is a choice. Someone has taken their God-given right to speak and chose to speak offensively. What I want my children to learn (and better now than later)is that they are free. They were created to be free, but that freedom comes with responsibility to make good choices and when they choose poorly...there will be consequences. If I don't give my children an opportunity to make good choices, in essence, I am saying I don't believe they can make good choices. If I don't give them room to mess up, I can't give them room to succeed either. You see the problem is not freedom of speech. The problem is poor choices in how we manage our freedom. Those who manage it poorly get their freedom taken away or punished. I want my children to know that their freedom is safe with me. I'm not going to yank it away every time they make a poor choice.

My next challenge is to provide encouraging counsel. This is such a conscious choice on my part. This challenge calls me to speak life over my children. It requires me to choose to see beyond their current choices to what the Father is doing in their life. When I see what the Father is doing, I can come into alignment with it, and partner with Him to see His will done in their life. I try to make sure I say encouraging words and constantly call out the greatness that I know is in them. Whether it be their grades, behavior, friends, or extra-curricular activities I want them to know that I am their biggest fan here on earth. Situations may come up that make them doubt who they are or their abilities. Hopefully, I will be there to remind them they are precious daughters and son of the Most High King and carry His favor on them. Hopefully, they will know beyond a doubt that I love them more than the grades they make, the friends they hang around, or the sports they choose to play.

I say this is a challenge for me and it is. I know that my supporting role hinges on me being able to be responsible for my own choices. It isn't contingent on them. So I will seek the Lord and constantly look to Him for how He would have me respond. In Him, I will have everything I need to be the supportive mother they need me to be. I struggled with this for years and did everything wrong that I could do wrong. However, the Father is redeeming all things in my relationship with my kids. That's what He does, and I absolutely love the way He takes our mistakes and covers them in His redeeming love. He is a good good Daddy! He is my example for parenting. He shows me how to love, show grace and mercy, as well as set boundaries and stick to them.

Does anybody else relate to these struggles? I believe as parents, we can support each other in training up a generation of amazing youth!